Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas


In the mood of Christmas I thought I would talk about the sexy things I wear to bed during the holidays.
I have the dumbest Christmas clothing and I am pretty sure they are all presents from my mom. I know a lot of women who buy sexy nighties and underwear for their boyfriends but I play a much different card. I wear the most unattractive and unsexy clothing in hopes the confusion will turn into mad lust because he doesn't know what else to think when he sees these clothing options.

This night gown depicts a snowy Christmas day with a litter of kittens dressed up in snow gear singing Christmas carols while it is snowing out. I have had this nightgown for maybe 10 years and this is my go to gown at all times. I am actually sad when I can't find it or when it is in the laundry. I find this comfortable, chic and above all, very very alluring.


This is a version of the singing Christmas kitties night gown. It has the same ease and flow but the only thing different is the picture. I am not sure if this is Christmasy but the 101 Dalmatian movie did take place during Christmas and I only seem to wear it during the holidays. Here you see a bunch of Dalmatian puppies playing around on a television set. I like this one as well for the ease and comfortability that it gives me but it is never my first choice and often or not I am happy when I can't find it, I don't know why. This nightgown is like the stepchild that you can't find before you go out for ice-cream and are kind of happy when you don't.


This nightgown has seen a lot of action my friend and when I say action, I mean washing machine action. This is a Mulan nightgown complete with the Asian collar that has the double snaps in the back. This nightgown was purchased from the children's section of walmart. I don't question why my mother bought it or why it fits but it does and that's enough for me to wear it.


Here we see a bunch of penguins tumbling with their snow hats on. This night gown goes almost down to the floor and if your lucky you can catch a glimpse of a sexy ankle. There are three buttons but the holes or so stretched because the nightgown is so baggy that when I sleep a roll around a stretch the button holes so now the buttons never stay closed; I am forced to fasten them with safety pins. Problem with this nightgown is that it is made out of very heavy fleece. It is so fucking warm that you bake at night with it on. You sweat and the fleece absorbs it all making this gown a one time use and then it must be washed. I can't even throw this night gown on to relax in because once you make the slightest movement, sweat starts instantly being produced.


These are very Christmasy, if you can't tell by the baby blue satiny two piece skiing penguin outfit. I made the mistake of telling my mom that I thought penguins were cute, ever since then I have received penguin themed gifts. I have multiple pajamas with penguins, a robe with penguins, towels with penguins, a complete fleece penguin bed set and stuffed penguins. I swear to god it is better to say nothing than something.


These pants are ridiculous. From the bright orange fleece to the green scarves that penguins are wearing, these pants are an abomination. This may be a new material; the thickest fleece known to man. I seriously can't even wear these, they get that hot. I put them on when I'm super cold and within minutes I have to remove them or the back of my knees sweat. Another fantastic thing about these pants is the fact that they shrink every single time I wash them, They are so short that I have to wear them below my hips to make them touch the top of my shoes. If I were to wear them like normal people, they would be capris. I hang onto them for some reason, and I'm not quite sure why because I hate everything about them. Who's idea was it to put bright orange with green mixed with fleece? This was possibly the worst decision man kind has ever made. I hold on to them in case I ever get hypothermia and need to warm up quickly before I die.


I'm afraid that these photos may send boys into a sexual rampage so please be careful when viewing these photos. Some ask me how it is that I can be so sexy, and I all have to say is fleece, an abundance of fleece at all times.
I really do feel sorry for anyone that finds this attractive because these photos are so very unappealing that only the sickest of minds would find this shit sexy. The most pathetic thing about all of this, is that this is only a fraction of the gay night wear that I do own.
Fuck fleece.

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