Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Night 3

I have just realized that I spend over 8 hours a day alone with myself. I have no one to talk to and am left feeling trapped in my mind. One of the people that I did speak to today got my name wrong. I get to his house and he says did you say your name was Bertha? Uhhhh no, It's Larissa. This isn't the first time he has asked if my name is Bertha and I tell him every time that it's not. I'm scared to ask him if I look like a Bertha because what if he says yes, than where does my self esteem go from there?
We had this amusement park back in my home town and one of the games there was a giant fat woman with a gaping hole in her mouth. The point of the game was to keep throwing balls into Bertha's mouth until she has been stuffed. Whenever I think of the name Bertha, I think of that pig woman carnival game. Another reason why I hate it, because it has "berth" in the name, which is the same as "birth". I hate almost everything there is to do with pregnancyand child birth. I don't really like the idea of touching pregnant woman, it freaks me out. All I can think about when I see a pregnant woman, is how that child is trying to kill you from the inside out. The only thing bad ass about pregnancy is the fact that your unborn fetus is trying to kill you. It is raping you of nutrients, oxygen and minerals as your body fights every second for survival; the fetus doesn't care if you live or not. Once this child has grown strong enough, it bursts out of you and continues to rape you for at least 18 years. But one day that child will grow and become a parent and the raping will happen to him/her. The circle of life is basically how we all get fucked in the end and it's usually by child birth.
Pregnancy also has the most horrendous words associated with it:

Vaginal Canal
Breast Milk
After Birth

These words are so disgusting, the mere thought of them immediately gets my heart racing and I get nervous. I touched my pregnant friends belly the other day and it was horrifying. It's really hard, like a turtle shell. I don't know why I though that it would be soft, I guess the unborn child would be fairly unprotected but still it's so fucking hard. I shuddered as soon as I touched it. That would be my fear factor: How long can you hold onto a pregnant chicks stomach.

Worst things about pregnancy:

Weight gain
Always having to pee
Getting kicked from within
Over emotional
Stretch Marks
Diabetes associated with pregnancy
Ripping your vag
Dying from child birth
No alcohol

And after you experience all these wonderful things, you are then stuck getting fucked for the rest of your life by something that will always have some sort of control over you, unless you disown the child at some point.

The best things about pregnancy:

Eating like a pig
Sleeping all the time
People open doors and get stuff for you
Special parking spot
Baby Shower ( too bad the gifts are all dumb baby junk )
Buying little people clothes
Dressing up the kid in animal costumes for Halloween

And that is all the pros, that is it. There is nothing else about child birth that is good. Some will argue that you get something to love and hold, but that is over rated.

Pretty soon I'm sure that kids will become so powerful in the womb that they will break through your stomach like an alien and then kill everyone in the hospital room and that is how they will create super soldiers. The government won't wait until the child is born to train it for combat, they will start training it in the womb with subliminal messages, drugs and other technologies I can't even imagine. No woman would want to offer to do this so there would be competitions put into place and the losers are the ones that had to carry the future defenders of our galaxy.
Other horrible things about pregnancy: naming the kid and placenta eating?

Eating the placenta is something I would picture happening in hell. I don't care what kind of nutrients or what kind of symbolic message it has, that is sick. There is this sack of blood vessels that your child had been feeding off of for 9 months. It has been floating around inside of you and you want to eat this shit? I know how about we eat the umbilical cord as well? Hell, instead of cleaning up the mess let's all just have dinner. There would have to be such a good reason for me to eat that sack. I would only eat it if:

The world was going to end if I didn't and everyone that I loved would die.

Those are the only two reasons.

JubeJube Cotton?
Apple Radio?
Lamp Urchin?

Pretty soon these are how classrooms are going to sound because parents are so selfish that when they name a child all they can think about is that kid in baby to toddler stage. How about when the child hits middle school or when he has to apply for a high powered position? Do you think Stamp Bigberry is going to get a job over Richard Thompson, I don't think so. Calling a baby a Jubejube is cute because he's kind of fat and pudgy but how about when kids start taunting them and making fun of them? You say you want to stop bullying and child abuse? Stop naming your kids after everyday items. If anything these parents are to blame in the rise of bullying and teenage suicide, good job parents you are slowly killing a generation before it has time to kill itself. The only time it's okay to name your kid something fantasy based is when you are extremely rich and that child never has to depend on his name to get him anywhere in life but if you are in poverty or middle class, expect your child to live to the age of about 17, if that; congratulations you have just given your child a life span and the clock is ticking.
Naming a child should be a process. You submit a list of names to a designated group of people. Out of those names they narrow down the names that aren't horribly stupid. They then send back the list and you choose from the names they have left you and re submit it but this time to a higher designation of people. This process continues three times and the final step all members must agree on the name for your child, they then send the wining name back to you and that is what you call your child, none of this naming the child at the last second thing. If the parents have not submitted a name and the child is born, a name will be assigned to that child with no contribution from the parents whatsoever.
The only name based off of a food that is okay, is Olive. I like the name Olive.

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