Tis' Christmas Eve and my god did it come fast.
This year was so chaotic for me. I usually finish my Christmas shopping early December but this year I haven't even finished it yet.
It is my fault I know and as a punishment I must go into the busy malls time and time again due to my frantic disorganization. Let's see, I have had two meltdowns in the same mall and I have told at least 3 old timers to fucking move it. Is this what the holidays is about? Me being a bitch because I didn't organize my time properly.
I was in the mall today and I am trying to pick out a gift for someone. As I go through the store I just keep seeing item after item that I know this person would not like, I start getting frustrated and begin mumbling curse words at myself, when a sales associate comes over to me and asks if I need any help. I just stare at her because what am I supposed to say? Tell this sales person, who could give a shit less about what I need, my life story and how it is that I cannot find a gift for this person because I have given similar gifts times before and they didn't like them or that they hate this particular scent or fabric. For this girl to actually help me and be beneficial in my gift finding, she would have to know all of this persons likes and dislikes, my budget, how big it has to be, now do you think this girl cares that much about this sale? I don't think so. So, as I am going through this rant in my head, by the way I haven't answered her question yet, she walks away and I don't even notice she is gone until a minute passes. I probably looked mentally ill, starring at absolutely nothing and moving my mouth in very noticeable curse words. Not unless there is some secret stash of presents in the back of the store, then I do not need your help. The store is the size of a prison cell and everything is displayed. I don't need Vanna White pointing at shit on the shelves asking me if I like something or not. You know what I will do, I will use my fucking eyes, scan the shelves, make quick decisions and go about my day in a fraction of the time it would take me to work with this sales girl. I also walked out of the store empty handed, fell to my knees and kept saying I am so frustrated over and over again. I don't know why I did that. Like I was auditioning for the Shawshank Redemption. All I had to do to make this scene complete is shake my hands in the air and scream, "Noooooooooooooooo!."
When I am tired, hungry and frustrated I tend to do really stupid and embarrassing things, without the thought process to analyze the situation at the time. I am behind this old Asian guy and very loudly I say, "Move it, or fucking lose it sister."
A.) Could I be anymore of a bitch
B.) He was a boy so why did I call him sister?
again at the time I didn't realize any of this. It's like being in a car accident and losing your memory. Hours after I will start getting glimpses of the shit I did during the day and they will become more clear and more vivid until I am positive it is an actual memory and not some horrible dream I am remembering. Hopefully next year I can go about the holidays stress free and without going postal on slow moving senior citizens.