Friday, December 17, 2010

Not a girl, Not yet a woman

When do I become a woman?

I don't like word woman, it makes me think of child bearing and I hate everything to do with child bearing. I'm 22 but I still call myself a girl but is girl only reserved for those in middle school and younger? I am somewhat lost. I think woman looks like Meryl Streep or Oprah Winfrey, you know someone with larger hips, on the brink of menopause or already in the stages of menopause and taking estrogen replacement pills. I guess there is some sexiness behind the word woman like Venus or Penelope Cruz, they are to women but much different than what I had previously described. Does so much change once you are considered a woman, do people expect you to be more responsible, loving and family oriented. I think if you still play video games you are considered a girl. If Oprah openly played call of duty, I don't think I would consider her a woman anymore. The word holds the meaning of maturity for me so the more I can put off that word the more responsibility I can get off of. If I don't pay my credit card bill I can blame it on the fact that I'm still just a kid and learning new and exciting things about the world. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking I am younger than I actually am but it's all in the way that you say it:

If you think about it, I graduated four years ago.


If you think about it, I graduated only four years ago.

Putting the word "only" in the sentence makes it sound like I just got out of school and am still trying to figure out adulthood, where as simply stating the facts that I had graduated four years ago implies that time flies and what the hell have been doing with my life and what do I have to show for four years. I wonder what 30 feels like, maybe I'll be a woman then. Maybe I'll be one of those single girls at the bar wearing a modest low cut high waisted dress in a weird green metallic so that I can show off my big tits but camouflage my chunky tummy from the reduced metabolic rate that my 30's has brought me.

I went to this metal concert once and there was this girl there. She was a ginger red head with a soccer mom kind of hairstyle that just touched her shoulders and then flipped out. She was very hippy and had larger arms and thighs. She wore a low cut top but really flowy from her stomach and flowy sleeves to camouflage her large upper arms. She wore dress pants to elongate her short stubby legs and had a really tiny bag and kitten heels. I knew she was about 30 and trying to pick up a guy by seeming hip and cool. She constantly got up and walked up and down the aisles as if she had some purposeful ting to do but really she wanted to display herself as much as possible and try to catch the eye of anything with a penis. Too bad most men that go to metal concerts look like this:

So, if that's what you want to bring home to your mother at the age of 30, by all means have at it.

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