Thursday, January 6, 2011

Night 17

Awkward moments that happen with my job.

I work with a lot of people and there is almost always a situation where I feel very uncomfortable. To name a few:

1.)The other day I went to the home of a clients and they said, " I look horrible, don't I, don't worry you can tell me it won't hurt my feelings." Now, I thought I could just play this off and pretend I didn't hear so I just looked at my hands but she wanted an answer and asked, " Well? " I instantly got uncomfortable and started moving my hands around with absolutely no purpose like a freak. I managed to come up with, " I can tell you are going through some things right now, it is apparent." I think that was a good answer actually. For all the things I could have said that could had been taken out of context, I came up with, that I think to be the best answer to the purposed question. Not only does it show insight into how a persons mental health can effect their physical health, but it shows compassion for not saying you look like death.

2.) Another client said, "I bet you would never want to live my life." Jesus, what does one say to this. I stammered around as she stared at me intently anticipating an answer and in between my umms and well's I said, "Oh, well we all live a certain way." That doesn't even answer the question or apply to the situation at hand. I thought this would be a passable and appeasing statement but it wasn't, she asked what I meant by it. Knowing she was religious I said, "We all come from different walks of life and we lead the path that god has chosen for us no matter what reason." Boo yah. Tight answer.

3.)Someone asked why having a mental illness has to be controlled by medications, the conversation went like this:                                                                                                                              

Why do I have to take medications to control my mental illness?
Because you could potentially be a threat to yourself and others.
but what if I don't think I am a threat.
Then you should talk to your health care team.
But what if they think I am a threat?
Then you probably are.
I don't want to take my medications.
You don't have to, it's your choice.
But they told me I would go to the hospital if I didn't.
Precisely, it is your choice whether or not you go to the hospital and that choice happens to revolve around taking of your medications.
Why do you think Van Gogh painted?

yes, that is where the conversation ended.

4. I was taking care of a client who had lost most ability to walk and the use of his left arm. I was bathing him and he started crying saying:

My legs are useless.
Well, at least they're not amputated.
(he cried more)
I can't even use this arm.
At least you have the other one.

This is what I said to an older man that has clearly been defeated. I did not mean to be insensitive, that was not my intention but I had no idea what to say. Of course it would blow to lose the use of your limbs but could I say that? I tried to look at the bright side but the bright side came off as being a stone cold bitch. He asked me to leave.

5.) I was handing out medications to a client and I had forgotten one of the pills so I told her I would be right back I just have to grab it from your casket. What I mean to say was cassette but out came casket. I instantly froze as I turned slowly to look at her. She just stared at me, I had no idea how good her hearing was or if she was even listening to me but her stare made me think she had understood my mistake. I quickly said cassette, cassette, cassette over and over again. It was like I was a robot that was malfunctioning. I just kept saying the word cassette to her, and in hopes that the constant repetition would somehow erase the word I had previously said, that was my reasoning anyway.

6.) I have to go to this clients home and there has never been an awkward conversation, because there are never any words spoken. I walk in, I give the, "Hey, how are ya?" Hand the pills over and stand and watch as the client takes each pill one at a time. This wouldn't be as horrible if there weren't about 20 pills. After each pill a sip of water has to follow. The cup is very small so he has to refill it about 4 times during the pill taking. Why can't he just buy a larger glass or not use so much water per pill? I tried to make conversation once but this just slowed down the whole process and made him embarrassed. So, for fifteen minutes I stand and watch him like a hawk without a word being said.

These are just a small amount of situations that has happened to me and the best part of it all is that new ones arise everyday, so my life has become an understanded uncomfortable living.


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