Friday, January 7, 2011

Night 18

Big News.

I have taken the next step in stopping that fucking dog from barking. I know I said my next step would be to talk to the owner in person but I am way to scared that they would then see me on the street and follow me for weeks learning my routine and then one day just kill me so I moved directly to giving them a letter. I wrote this letter on Monday and planned to give it to them on Monday and every day after that but I just couldn't do it. I was so scared they would see me walk to their house and well, try to kill me so I kept postponning it. Today, I finally got the courage to drop that shit in their box. I dressed in all black, grabbed my boyfriend and waited for the cover of darkness. We then took a stroll up the road and I very quietly pattered my way to their box and popped it in. Mission accomplished.
The only problem is that I wrote this letter on Monday and gave them a deadline as the end of the week to get their dog to stop barking and then on the following Monday I told them I would file a noise complaint. So, this was supposed to be given on Monday, thus giving them the week to solve the issue but instead I gave it to them last night only allotting one day to fix the problem. I was going to re write it but wouldn't ya know I ran out of ink and I will only give a printed letter because I am sure they can do some CSI junk and track me down if I hand wrote it.
I also debated not typing it and cutting out letters from different magazines and composing my letter from that, like a ransom note. I then thought they might call the police because I think I would be fairly freaked out if I received a letter in the format that only serial killers, kidnappers and extortionists use but it would had been way more intimidating. Perhaps if this letter does not do the trick I will then write a follow up letter on Monday from magazine letters saying, " I warned you, " or maybe I'll write some cheesy 80's movie tag line like, "No dogs allowed," or, " You barked up the wrong tree," and then file the complaint, that'll do the trick I am sure of it.
So Monday I have to file the complaint if they do not keep their dog quiet, I have to stay strong, I gave them a deadline and if I don't live up to it they may think me weak and easily walked over or that I am just bluffing but you know what, even if they do shut their dog up I may still file the complaint and grossly exaggerate so that they know I don't mess around. I will probably decide on Monday what to do, it seems like too big of a decision now and must be made on the spot and spontaneously.
Speaking of letters, here's a horrible memory of mine. When I was in grade 6 there was this boy that I really liked. I knew he had no interest in me but I still made myself think that maybe one day if I flirt enough he may like me. My flirting was so pathetic tho. I think it consisted of mocking him with my friend during track and field events in gym class and trying to walk by him a lot strutting my "stuff". My stuff consisted of extra chunk and bad skin by the way, I know I know how could he resist?. Anyways I wrote a letter to god asking for this boy to ask me to the dance, I then stupidly put it in the top drawer of my dresser underneath my clothes. Well guess who found this dismal and pathetic letter? None other than my mom.
I came home from school and right away she was acting all sassy and coy and just watching me as I made my after school snack, this is how the conversation went:
Why are you watching me like that?
Is there something you want to tell me?
(Instantly my heart starts racing, did she know I drank the last Coke that was saved for my older brother?)
Ummmm no, why?
Well I was putting away your clothes and I found this.
She holds up the letter and waves it around as if she is holding it hostage and by the way she never put my clothes away so I highly doubt that was the reason for being in my drawer but I couldn't say anything because I was in the process of becoming mortified. I couldn't come up with any words, none at all. I just kept trying to remember everything that I had written, all the embarrassing pleas that I enlisted gods help for. Instead of my mom talking to me about this boy I like, I start getting a reprimand for thinking about boys in that way and abusing gods graces. Really? Your daughter is fairly self conscious and at the age where she starts to like boys and you tell her that god can't waste his time on trivial problems like getting a date to the school dance. I am not sure if I have ever really recovered. Those were the most personal words I had written at the time and to have someone read your inner most thoughts was so unbelievably embarrassing and invasive, truly scarring for life I tell ya.
I have never asked god for a thing since.

No comments:

Post a Comment