Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Night 23

Big News (part 2)!

I finally did it, I filed the noise complaint om Friday. I was laying in bed at around noon trying to sleep and I had just drifted off and all I hear is that fucking dog. I lay there and I think to myself:

Okay, a couple of barks is fine, I can't be unreasonable
(10 barks later)
He's gonna stop any minute
(20 barks later)
Come on big fell, you know you're tired of barking and wanna nap
(50 barks later)
That's it you fucking annoying monster

I get up and dial 311. I get this guy on the other line and he wants me to explain the situation:

Mam, what exactly is going on?
Well I live behind this house and this dog barks all the time.
Like, 24/7?
No, not literally all of the time, that would be impossible but at least every half an hour for 10 minutes or so.
Is the backyard fenced?
No, he's on a balcony, too small of a balcony for that size of dog in my opinion. ( I should not have said that because....)
Does the dog look like he's been abused?
Ummm no, not that I can tell I think he just doesn't like being on the balcony.
Does he have enough food and water?
Once again, I cannot tell but he doesn't look starved.
Do you ever see him out?
What do you mean out? Like walking around?
Well they don't live on my street so the chances of that are unlikely so no I have not seen him out and about.
Do you think he barks because he is getting abused?
What? No. I think he barks because he can hear another dog (for god's sake).
What kind of dog is it?
(Let me get out my manual of dog breeds, just one second here, hmmm  yes looks like a Paddington Yorkshire the third, I don't fucking know)
I dunno a Rottweiler maybe.
So, tan and black?
Does he look aggressive?
Look aggressive? He's on a balcony, I have never seen him out and about, therefore have no idea of his demeanor.
Can you guess?
(Can I guess? Jesus, what an excellent sleuth he is. A guess? Really? You want me to take a shot in the dark at how a dog behaves without any basis for my decision?)
He seems normal.

So they are going to send animal control to their place with a letter of rules they must follow and if they don't there will be consequences. They never told me what the rules are so how am I to know if they are being followed or what is acceptable barking?
All I could think about when talking to this guy was, " I hope I gave the right address." I am 99.9% positive I gave the right address and that is the house where the dog is but I did have some uncertainty around it.
That would be horrible if I messed up and some other person got that letter. I made the man promise me over and over that my information was confidential and that no one would find out, no one. He promised but that didn't stop me from cruising night vision goggles on eBay and securing more weapons around my place in case of attackers. I have also upped my runs to two laps instead of one; I must be prepared.
Now all I can do is wait.


Well I guess my complaining worked, I haven't even heard the dog once, not once, since I complained on Friday. I wanted it to stop barking but I think they may have killed it. I now have a new mission, to find out if the dog is still alive, extract it from it's holding cell, train it and become a crime fighting pair, like Turner and Hooch but not as gay.


  1. dear, you have no idea how much I miss you and how patiently you put up with my crazy