Friday, January 28, 2011

Night 31

I have always liked older men.
I find older men very attractive and always have. I don't know what it is about them. Maybe the fact that they are older and have more life experience and knowledge then me makes them attractive or it could be the grayish hair. I like white hair and when there grey on the sides or the salt and pepper look is very mature looking. They look like they would be great providers and educate you in all things of life. I know younger girls date older men for the sugar daddy benefits but I would date an older man because it would be awesome. I love history and older men have been on this planet longer than me, therefore are part of history and any connection to a previous time even if it be 5 or 10 years is fascinating.

A list of men I have once loved:

Sylvester Stallone:

Sylvester Stallone was one of the first old guys that I liked. He always played the hero in movies (Cliffhanger, Daylight, Judge Dread), and you know if you were ever in trouble he could save you. He was rough in Rocky and bad ass in Rambo. Any man that can take on the military and win is a man worth loving. He clearly isn't the brightest bulb and listening to him talk is painful. He speaks like one word is coming to him at a time and that he never has an idea where the sentence is going. His mouth has progressively been sliding down one side of his face throughout the years and is now on a kind of diagonal. He has been in wicked movies and always turns in an entertaining performance. I like to remember him how he once was and not the beef jerky, vein popping piece of leather he is today (but I'd still hit that).

  = :)   = :(

Sean Connery:

I love a good accent and this man serves it up well. He is so charming and manly with his thick accent and bushy eye brows. Sean would fight for your honour and court you before marriage. He looks as if he would ask your dad for your hand in marriage and make you wait until after marriage for sex. He uses old English words and would probably write you beautiful letters from the battlefield. The man could call me every name in the book but as long as it's with a Scottish accent and followed by a jovial laugh I could care less. He is Sir Sean Connery, and rightfully so, my only question is, why did it take so long for him to get knighted? He should had been knighted in the delivery room, the hospital staff probably knew from the minute he was born that he was to be a knight. The queen really dropped the ball on that one.

 

Perfect at every age. By the way I remember being around 10 years old and watching the academy awards when Sean Connery came out wearing that outfit on the left. It looked like he was wearing a really fancy bib from red lobster but all I could think was how sexy he looked. Double guns Sean? You are so the man.


Clint Eastwood

Oh ma ma. Dirty Harry for sure. This man is a legend among legends. Remember in, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly," and how the first 45 minutes there was no talking and you were still captivated? You were so enthralled by the man on the screen and he brought such a presence that only silence could do it justice. Clint baby is the epitome of a man. He is quiet, strong, brooding and handsome. He has the best squint of all time and his jaw line is to die for. I love the way he talked in films and how he always did as little stunts as possible because his height made it look so awkward. I remember watching, "Escape From Alcatraz", about a million times on the Super Station and wanting to break him out of prison or commit some crime, dress up as a man and get sent to Alcatraz where me and Clint could forever be together. Here's to you Eastwood and the sexiness and talent that Hollywood will never quite know again.

 

Jackie Chan

I don't discriminate and have always loved some Asian fusion. Jackie Chan was a crush that kept on growing. I started watching movies like, "Rumble in the Bronx," and, "Drunken Master," and slowly liking him more and more. He is goofy and silly, but in a sexy way? I don't even know if I actually find him attractive or if it is due to my confusion that I have tricked myself into thinking he is sexy because I have no idea what else to think. He is not ugly nor is he fat, he's just Jackie Chan. I did like when he had that long pony tail in Shanghai noon and was whipping people with it. I was watching that movie with my friend and when I saw him whip people this is how the conversation went:

He can whip me anytime.
What?
Nothing.
You said Jackie Chan can whip you with his ponytail anytime?
No, why would I say that?
I could have sworn you did.
Nope, you should listen better next time.

I like how nimble and compact he is. I think he could slip through jail cell bars and then tumble through the door way while knocking out the guards and grabbing the keys with his toes. My mom actually bought me a poster of Shanghai Noon and she made sure that he had his ponytail showing on it because I wouldn't have wanted it if it didn't. Looking back that was kind of a strange but how can you not love him, honestly?

 

Is he attractive? I don't know but I will always want Jackie on my side.

Michael Jackson:

MJ, my dear how I miss you. My crush on Michael started in grade five I think. I generally thought he was attractive and I had never seen someone dance like that before. He was so light on his feet and moved like an angel, I was entranced by his gift. I remember writing a letter to him when I was young and addressing it to the Neverland Ranch. In the letter it expressed  my undying love and how much I admired his talent. It was a few pages long and I never let anyone read it. I didn't put any stamps on it and put it in the mail box. It clearly never reached him and for some reason I never thought about why I hadn't gotten an answer for a couple of weeks and then I remembered that it had no return address and no postage. I was so disappointed and saddened. I guess I could have written another letter but I didn't. I had put so much of myself into that piece of literature that  it could never had been recreated. My love for Michael never reached him and now it never will. Rest in peace.

 

Black or white baby.

Bill Clinton:

The smoothest man in history. He lied on national television to millions and millions of people and yet he is still loved. Sure he cheated on Hilary but it didn't look like she liked to party and if Bill likes anything,  it's to party. Monica Lewinsky was a strange choice. Not the prettiest woman and she was huge but he still took it for a test drive multiple times. There's another thing I like about him; he doesn't discriminate. The fact that he had sexual relations with Monica makes all us girls have hope that we too can have an affair with the most bad ass president of all time, not that we would (but we would). Have you seen a more popular person, let alone public figure. Every nationality, race and religion loved him. Hell, Hilary still loved him, if that doesn't speak to his likability then nothing can. He ruled the states and had a wicked time doing so. If he could had been elected again there is no way that the public wouldn't had done so. He can talk his way in and out of any ones bed while passing positive bills that better humanity. Bill, the smoothest of them all.

 

Fight for your right to party Bill.

2 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA that was epic

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very funny stuff Lis...and all worthy choices!

    ReplyDelete