Thursday, January 30, 2014

Moody skin!

Are you one of those people who has perfect skin and wash your face about once a week and eat all the chocolate and pizza you can? Then I hate you ;) My whole life I have struggled with mild acne. I shouldn't be bitching because my "acne" is not cystic nor is it all over but I always have zits, no matter what I do. They're not big or anything but more like annoying little white heads on the sides of my mouth that never really accumulate to anything but are there. Every week or so I'll have a little one come to the surface, pop it and then become obsessed with looking at it until it goes away! And as soon as that one goes away, well, another little friend pops up.
The reason why I mention this is because my skin is like this always no matter what I do. When I was bulking and trying to gain weight my skin was exactly like when I was cutting and trying to lose weight so obviously nutrition doesn't play a huge role for me.
When I would be having some drinks throughout the week as opposed to hardly ever drinking my skin has stayed the same so obviously alcohol does nothing for me.
When I am fully hydrated as opposed to dehydrated, my skin is the same.
When I take my vitamins instead of skipping them my skin is the same.
When I wash my face twice a day as opposed to once a day, my skin is the same.
When I was vegan and then switched to dairy/meat, my skin was the same.
So, basically what I'm getting at, is that skin care is something I feel that we have very little control over!!!!! It will clear up when it clears up and it will break out when it will break out. I think there is very little  we can to alter the path of our skin. Some of us are predetermined to have problem skin and some of us are blessed to have good skin. All though hormones play a huge role and we all know how volatile hormones can be and how easily they can be affected; consciously or subconsciously.
I've tried many different treatments: Proactive, Clinique, Exposed, Topical creams, antibiotics and even Accutane. All had the same effect, and that was basically nothing. I may be special or in that 20% bracket where these products don't really work or maybe these products actually don't work. Who knows. Sometimes I think the testimonials are absolute bullshit.Could be my bitterness talking hahah.
I will say, Accutane did work but only for about a year and then the same problem came back. I was on several cycles of Accutane and the side effects are defiantly not worth the outcome. That is why there are many lawsuits against Accutane.
The one bright spot in all of this, is that there is a cure and that my friends is sunshine. Rays of the gods!!!! Every summer my skin clears up fantastically. The zits go away and the marks fade. I was born to live and thrive in the sun. You really do need to listen your body and give it what it wants. Of course in moderation tho but I could lay out in the baking sun for hours and be the happiest bunny on this planet.
I have come to the conclusion that I am just gonna do my thang. I'll go about my life, try to eat clean, drink my water, exercise and if my skin clears up great, if not that's fine to.
This outside layer is merely a shell of who I am. My confidence and self worth does not and will not come from my skin, something which I feel I have no control over. I focus on the things where I can see the change, like my body (muscle, body fat %).
Our skin is meant to carry us through our lives, 60+ years if we're lucky, you don't think it's gonna show some wear and tear? Our outside layer was meant  to have blemishes and scars just as a case is meant to protect our cell phones.
Anyone have trouble with your skin? Share your troubles or share some things that have worked for you. Don't be shy!
Our skin is meant to protect the goods. So keep doing a great job skin.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

The dreaded bulk!

I thought I'd speak a little more about bulking and lifting, seeing as it can be a very scary thing to do, especially for girls. The thought of gaining weight is terrifying but you have to constantly see past it in order to achieve the goals you want to reach. 
I did a bulk back in the summer and then cut for a few months and now I'm back to bulking and lo and behold it isn't as easy to gain weight as it was before. I find that I am eating literally whatever I want, bread, chocolate and snacks but nothing seems to be doing the trick. I have steadily kept the routine to lifting at least 5 days a week with 20 min of cardio at the end of each session and then eating whatever I like. Last week I ate a tub of frozen chocolate yogurt ice cream in three days and not an ounce was put on! Since my last bulk and cut process I have noticed how it has changed my body. Gaining weight isn't as easy and I am defiantly more muscular at a lower weight where as before I was the same weight but not nearly as defined. I know the bulk and cut works but as you do it more and more your body requires more fuel to burn in order to grow. My whole life I've been so used to not eating a lot because that's what females do hahaha but now I am literally forcing myself to eat even when I'm not hungry and trust me I have days where I wish I wasn't cramming three pitas into my mouth. I just keep my goals in mind and it helps me get through the tough days. Here's a little video of some of the exercises I'm currently doing, enjoy!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

It's all about the money

I came across an article today and just had to say something. It seems that Fendi has lined their latest runway show with goat fur. Yes, goat fur. Has it really come to this? Where it has become so acceptable to wear fur that we now walk on it. We walk on it to show case over priced so called "fashion" most of which is ridiculous in nature and incredibly over priced. This is just a shining example of what this world has turned into.
We have come so far so quickly in such a short time where people are now running out of ways to shock and amaze so they have to resort to utterly outlandish tactics in order to hold peoples attention and distract us from anything else of actual importance. You can only push fashion so far until it becomes a ridiculous representation of creativity. I'm not against fashion nor am I against a creative outlet but it seems that most things are created simply to be created. Because there is a demand for the new fall line and it better be cutting edge or you're gone. That is the system we have created and the system we now live in and not just in terms of fashion. It has become cyclical in nature and won't stop anytime soon because it has grown a mind of it's own, it has a formula now: Do something crazy=get attention=more money. It's a winning concept, if we're talking terms of monetary growth because in the end isn't that what everyone wants? Isn't that what Fendi wants? Cover their walkway in goat fur, get attention to their brand and sell more clothes. And most of these large business empires that try and say that it's not about the money and that it's about the creative, is a bunch of bullshit and a sorry excuse to portray what they're doing as something pure and creative. But, no PR is bad PR right?
Morals and values are constantly being ignored in order to make money. People, animals and the environment are all being exploited to the max in order to find the cheapest way to make money. People are expendable, animals are expendable and who really cares about our oceans and forests.
Big business have cornered everyday people into playing their game. People take shitty jobs with shitty pay in order to buy the things that we think we need. Because the media tells us we are less than nothing without these things.
What I'm saying is nothing new or inventive, I merely just can't take it anymore!
Just the other day on the radio I heard an ad for Spence diamonds and it said something along the lines of, "compare your diamond side by side with any other and you win, you can continue with confidence."
You win what? A better marriage? So what this ad is saying, if you don't have the best diamond you're obviously not loved as much, you're marriage sucks and you should be self conscious about that piece of shit ring your loser husband bought you because marriage is about money. 
I literally have to turn the radio off because I can't stand it.
Love isn't even love anymore it's about what you're spouse can give you financially. Love, such a beautiful and natural emotion has been turned into a financial tool for businesses. It has taken away what it truly means to love somebody and I can assure you it has nothing to do with how big your ring is.
To conclude all of this, our world is ran by the need to make money so anything and everything will be exploited eventually. Nothing will be sacred and nothing will be pure in nature. Happiness is about money, love is about money, security is about money, confidence is about money and self worth is about money. A piece of paper determines all this? Are you kidding? Something so easily destroyed has the ability to impact and control every aspect of your life?
Quick story before I go. I used to work night shift 5 nights a week for a whole year and then go to my morning job 5 mornings a week and then take 2 morning shifts on the weekend. I worked all the time. I had money but was I happy, no? I was literally by myself all the time, no other energy around me, no one else to talk to, alone with my own thoughts day in and day out, wasting my life pursuing something that meant absolutely nothing. I remember crying on the way to work, dreading going, not because I hated the job but because I HAD to go, I was a slave. One night I snapped and quit, just like that. I felt like I would die if I did one more shift. And after working like that for a year I have never been fully the same. Doors were opened that can't be closed and realizations were found that can't be lost.
I am grateful.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Weight gain!

The last year I have been experimenting a lot with my nutrition and workout regime. My goal, simply is to be toned with muscle. I don't want to be pencil thin and I don't want huge muscles but I want to be able to travel the world without feeling vulnerable.
Up until three months ago I was a vegan for ten years. That's a long time. A lot of people ask me what happened, what made me change and the answer is simple, I didn't enjoy it anymore. It was that easy. There was no reason for me to carry on a diet that I no longer felt good about. I eased the transition starting with egg whites. I eat meat and dairy here and there but I still maintain a mostly vegan diet purely for the nutritional benefits.
I like almond milk but that doesn't mean I won't have a piece of pizza!
I find I am much more controlled than I thought I would be around food and I hardly crave things. I like not depriving myself of anything. If I want a chocolate I'll have a chocolate.
For a couple of months I tried bulking. Where I tried to GAIN weight in order to cut fat. I was eating about 2000-2500 calories a day and put on maybe 10 lbs. Not too much but it was a good start. Loosing weight was easy and underneath the fat layer was nice muscle. Not a ton of it but I'm definitely more toned then I've ever been. I have been cutting fat for about 4 months and have noticed my body plateau so it is now time to put back on some fat before summer so I can be in even better shape.
It's a shame not a lot of girls talk about purposely gaining weight. It makes it seem irrational when a woman does it because most girls cringe at the thought of hopping on a scale.
But, answer me this, can a body survive on 1000 calories for the rest of it's life. No. No way! You'll be shredded but you won't have much muscle that's for sure. You can't diet your whole life. You must give your body a good muscle base before it is willing to give up it's fatty layer.
Keep starving yourself and walking on the treadmill but I want to be in a place where my body has adapted to 2000 calories. Where I don't have to worry about putting on a lot of weight because I have built my body to be able to handle it. 
This is my journey, think about what one you're on.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Snowboarding! Answer me this tho.....

I went home to the Okanagan this Christmas to visit family. While I was there a snowboarded their lovely mountain Apex twice. Here's the story tho, tell me if it's right or wrong.
My first day snowboarding was on Dec 24. 13 it was a nice clear day but super windy up on the hill. The mountain was pretty good, some runs were groomed, some were not which made it a little difficult to board but most of all I want to stress that it was incredibly windy.
The mountain has two lifts, the triple chair and the quad chair. I stayed mostly on the triple chair as the runs on the quad were pretty icy and hard to get down.
After boarding for the morning I met my brother for lunch which he then proceeded to tell me that he got stuck on the quad lift for half an hour because of the high winds! He told me some guy beside him buckled up his board and jumped 25ft off the lift into the snow! He said the guy was okay, but I guess he was impatient hahaha. My brother also called the Apex office from the lift and proceeded to ream them out by saying funny things like, "what kind of show are you guys running?" hahaha. He said that they refunded his ticket so I should go say I was stuck too and get my money back.
I usually don't do dishonest things like that but for some reason I decided, hey why not.
I went into the office, now, not only did the lady refund my ticket but she gave me a complimentary pass as well! I didn't expect that, as I had just received a $140 value!
Now right or wrong? Obviously wrong but to what degree? Does it matter the degree or does it matter that it was dishonest even in the slightest?
On boxing day we went back up and I stayed on the triple chair again. I had had just ridden down the hill and was about to go back on the lift when it stalled and the triple chair was down for about 20 minutes. Now, I wasn't stuck on it but maybe it was a bit of a nudge from the universe saying, "Hey, don't deceive!" Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but maybe I'm not!
Tell me what you think....

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Life without caffeine

Jan 2. 14

With much support, I have decided to quit drinking coke zero and coffee in an attempt to remove caffeine from my diet.

It has been roughly two years that I have had coffee everyday and for the last year I’ve been have several cups of coffee in a day and a couple cans of coke zero.

I don’t have an addictive personality and I was completely sure I wasn’t addicted but I have soon found out that I am, not mentally but physically.

It seemed like an easy enough decision, just don’t drink coffee and coke zero but the withdrawal symptoms are something else that I was not expecting.

Jan 1. 14 was the first day without coffee and this is how it went:

·         8 am wake up and work for a few hours.
·         10 am come home eat oatmeal and go down for a nap because of how tired I am.
·         Wake up at 12:30 not feeling anymore rested but with a huge headache.
·         Took some medicine and spend the next few hours trying to organize myself to go to the gym
·         At 5:00 go to the gym and feel completely lethargic and preoccupied.
·         Go to bed at 11:00 p.m. and wake several times throughout the night.

Today is day 2 the headache is still there (after taking medicine) and I am incredibly tired, all though I unexpectedly fell asleep in the car for 20 mins. I am finding it hard to focus at work and the seconds seem to be dragging on. Right now I’ve had about 4 cups of decaff peppermint tea, but the substitute does nothing.

I usually go to the gym after work but I am so tired and weak feeling that I think I shall leave work early and go home and see if I can ease my headache and ADD.