Monday, February 8, 2016

Sexy Hockey

You know what words go extremely well together, sexy and hockey.
I played hockey all through growing up and for a majority of the time I played with the boys; just one of the boys, what every girl wants.
There are some positives to it. I did become a fairly good hockey player and that would be about it.
In exchange for being a good hockey player I gained an understanding of how to function through being uncomfortable almost always and being in a room of people for an hour and not saying a word.
Again, those moments I am so grateful for because now I can handle almost any uncomfortable situation and actually like being in it. There is something exhilarating about being embarrassed or uncomfortable because we are so used to be comfortable and flying under the radar that when a situation that is out of the norm arises we don't know how to react but that's where I truly flourish!
So, boys will be boys and girls will be girls and we will develop crushes on each other and I was no exception.
Let me paint you a picture.
I was early teens Larissa and right in my full glory of short hair and chubby cheeks. I most defiantly had crushes on many of my fellow team mates and what does a hockey player in the wild do to attract these creatures? Well, try to be sexy in hockey equipment of course.
There were several techniques I would employ to try and catch the attention of my team mates.

  1. Skate sexy. I don't know how this is even possible or what it even looked like but I think it involved taking longer strides so that my legs looked longer and to swish my hips just like Shakira from her "Whenever, Wherever" video.
  2. Arch back and push butt out. When in the players box I would lean on the edge and try to arch my back and push my butt out. Yes, this was all while wearing heavily padded equipment. So no one could even notice (if they were even looking) and I developed a sore lower back. Win-win!
  3. Drink water sexy. There were times when you were so tired from playing that you just dumped the water on your face and hope that some ends up in your mouth but when I could remember I would try and take small sips to try and appear more feminine and sexy.
  4. Arrive at the rink looking sexy. This would include my curled short bangs and lavender pastel top. Only the best of the best.
So as you can see my game plan was to do everything I would normally do but with a sexy flare to it. Sexy walking, sexy skating, sexy laughing just do everything but put the word sexy in front of it.
At that age I had no idea what sexy even was (thank god for that). 
As you can see my seduction skills were on par with Sharon Stone from Fatal Attraction and with moves like those it's a wonder how I stayed single until I was 20.

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