Life would had been so much better if I knew how to contour, eat healthy and straighten my hair from a younger age.
I suppose I am grateful tho, life isn't meant to be easy and being awkward looking in my early teens set me up to appreciate looking normal at the ripe old age of 27 (almost 28, I'm a late bloomer).
Some people say kids have it so easy today because they are becoming more and more mature and have easier access to technology at an earlier age, but what a price to pay for a pre-mature loss of innocence.
You are supposed to apply white eyeshadow, have acne and wear crushed velvet turtle necks (I may or may not still own one or two).
Not only do those types of horribly embarrassing things build character but it also gives you plenty of material for later on in life when you're feeling down and need a laugh.
But I pity these girls and boys who have such high standards to live up to these days. It must be so hard to see things like the Kardashians and feel the pressure to live up to a certain image.
That is why I would like to take a moment to show these kids what they've missed out on experiencing.
Case in point:
First on the agenda, please take note of my incredibly short hair cut. I would grown my hair out for the whole year and then when summer came around I would chop it all off because it would be hot and we would be swimming and I wanted it to dry faster (bonus points young Larissa for being so practical). I liken it to a dog getting a summer haircut or sheep being sheered. Why that short? Could had been a little longer and maybe that would have added a few more drying minutes to my routine but I would have looked 10 times better. Nope! Why look good when you can have super fast drying hair!
Hand in hand with the short hair are the bangs. Now, bangs are okay at the best of times and that is at the best of times but I thought I would
A.) Cut my own bangs
B.) Cut them extremely short
C.) Curl them inward
D.) Part them in the middle
And the answer is, ALL OF THE ABOVE. I was always a person of extremes and my short hair looked just like Drew Barrymore, therefore I looked just like Drew Barrymore. Common sense people.
Now, I'm sure we can all notice those chubby cheeks. This was around the grade 7/8 era before I utilised he gym and my vegan/vegetarian lifestyle. I definitely liked me some snackies and didn't understand how a calorie worked.
There is one thing that perplexes me about this photo (besides the obviously poor decision making) is my eyebrows. Now I know I'm from the generation of skinny eyebrows and that's why I have such a large part in between them in the photo but here's the thing, I didn't pluck my eyebrows. God knows I tried. I thought that if I could pluck my eye brows thin enough I would look just like Charlize Theron but my tweezers were super cheap and never actually grabbed any hairs so there's no reason for there to be such a large gap. I'm thinking my eyebrows were late bloomers and didn't fully grow in until my early 20's.
And for the clothes. Just how smart do I looked in my 3/4 length dark denim button up? I was a teenager, why was I dressing like a 35 year old that's never been on a date before? Looking back I cringe but at the time nothing looked better than my jean shirt and short bangs or the pastel lavender top and white sports bra. I once wore that pastel lavender top, really rosey blush and curled my hair into soft waves and one of my teachers told me I looked like Kate Winslet. I think teachers constantly trolled us by giving us compliments that weren't true and then they would meet in the staff room and share stories about what gullible idiots we were. But if I looked like Kate Winslet then that means Leonardo DiCaprio would totally love me.
Maybe it wasn't so bad because after all my mom reassured me I was the "most beautiful girl in the world".